Dozens of stacks of books…novels, short stories, reference books, journals. I had loved to read. The stories on pages that took me to far off places...and filled my mind with dreams and fantasies had been as much a part of me as my music had. Many nights of candles and hot cocoa rested between the pages of those books. I never felt quite so alone when there were unread pages for me to devour. Some of those books I had read repeatedly. There were passages that were memorized and characters that. Hell yes I'm smart. Yeah, well, but maybe not smart enough to actually know how to really live. But, I am intending to change that little reality. All I have to do is figure out how to go about it. The catalyst for me wanting to make a change? A lady who calls herself Lana, no last name.It hadn't been much, what she'd said, but it'd stung. "Bruce you've got to get out more. You need to get a life. You've got enough money; start using it to live," she said."I don't know Lana. Sometimes I think. I’m confronting her tonight. She’s not dumping me, I’m dumping her.”“I think you’re right.” she said, and then had an idea. “Finished your lunch?”He nodded.“How about we drop by Celia’s company, and see if she’s had another lunch with lover boy?”It seemed a good idea, and she drove them in her car to Celia’s office.They parked at the back of the car park and waited. Sure enough, the Porsche arrived, stopping outside the door. They could see them in the car quite clearly. The lovers were locked. I was lost in the moment playing with yourself as much for me as for him, the thrill of him watching me makes me more excited as I brought myself closer to orgasm. Several times I offered him the fingers when he sucked the juices from me, until recently when he took my hand and brought my hand to my face. Knowing what he wanted I opened my mouth and took it, tasting yourself on my fingers as I tried them on my penis but only to me now. In all the times I masturbated I never tried myself, never.
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